Yngvi (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
filthydipper) wrote2018-12-31 05:50 pm
filthydipper) wrote2018-12-31 05:50 pm
Entry tags:
ooc: tall tales/lies
- That the Wounded Coast smells so bad because of the giant crabs
- That folk worship those statues that came to life in the Gallows
- Sold fur stuck on a lead that he passed off as a dog. Also knew someone who said he was selling ratcatchers that were oversized rats. That ate him.
- How he got out of trouble when caught smuggling letters for mages which involved selling them blue cloth dye
- Oh and that he helped with a shipment of nugs that had crystal growths on them
- He has eaten a whole ghast
- Has eaten sawdust
- Watched a wyvern eat a man, then dared Asher to drink wyvern blood
- Claims there is rat royalty in Kirkwall
- Has seen someone club somebody with their own arm after it came off and the ensuing mess
- Again with the statue worship. And the rat royalty.
- What do you mean those weren't bones in his soup?
- Seriously why do you not believe him about the rat royalty?
- Why yes he has devoured many of his siblings
- Yes he's the official Inquisition wine inspector
- Of course the Avvar mountains have werebears
- Asher gave Melisende a necklace of ears every time she heard Andraste's mabari because she hates the song so much
- Delivered men in casks to Wycome as a delicacy to a white glove society
- A nuggalope farted and killed a stable boy, the dracolisks promptly ate his liver
- Knows someone who lost half their arse after sitting on a trap. (And Templars absolutely wear skirts.)
- Doglords have a rota for naming their dogs, got a committee for that and everything. And a gutter gave birth to Yngvi and his siblings that he and Gunnar ate for survival. When you're a young dwarf you need to stay in the dark for many years so you stay good and rooted to the ground before people can say 'yes this one is ready, let him up into the world'.
- Dalish elves sniff halla arse, news at eleven
- Old dwarves in Orzammar go off the rails by way of riding brontos into lava. And his bosom will fill in if he believes in the Maker and Andraste. Evenly. If it's uneven he'll be lopsided.
- Helped a merchant get a stall so that's why he's entitled to mates rates. Oh and he has seven fathers and five mothers in that moment. And the aspersions continue regarding the dracolisks and nuggalopes.
- That one time Asher had a de Launcet under each arm.
- Speak not of his love affair with Rothbor, he shan't besmirch his reputation
- A hysterical Christine is very much like Yngvi's aunt Bertha after six gins
- Everyone has that uncle that talks about how in his day they rode castless through the streets like brontos right?
- Also he's going to build a totally tasteful memorial with all those bones so hands off stop burning everything what's wrong with all you Andrastians???
- Dowagers get haunted after a certain age, symptoms include cobwebs on the nipples.
- Still working the rat angle.
- It'd be quicker to list the Chantries the Boneflayers haven't been banned from. Even Yngvi doesn't know how to class the thing with the wine...
- Part of a skull bit him one time. Half a jaw to be precise.
- Avvar dwarves confirmed
- Yeah he's still pushing the rats it's like he's got an agenda or he really does know something???
- The sky swallowed seven of his cousins Melys be sensitive
- Part-dwarf, part-floor cleaning slater
- The discipline of chairs and stepladders, it happens all the time. Trust him.
- The truth comes out: nugs are dwarf potatoes
- Beloved by six dowagers he is!!!
- True Dwarf Facts: baby naming
- Bears: the pro-wrestlers of Thedas
- Don't believe any Starkhavener, he didn't fiddle any hoops
- On how dwarven mining works
- Doglords fill in forms to name their dogs and it has to be on the proper list
- Deshyrs rode Casteless through the streets once
- Dwarves also burst out of lava. Look there are a lot of ways to birth a dwarf shut up
- Doglords would marry their dogs. Also schools in Ferelden are just for the dogs.
- Litigous ancient elf skeletons gossip
- Dwarves float like cork
- Andraste's Mabari is assault with a deadly weapon
- But why aren't we using brontos to win this war?
- Dwarves knocked up that second moon in the sky free of charge. You're all welcome
- Dwarves can't get gangrene everyone knows that
- A very hungry bear
Oh and he drank Nevarran corpse perfume.
updated 23/02/2020
- That folk worship those statues that came to life in the Gallows
- Sold fur stuck on a lead that he passed off as a dog. Also knew someone who said he was selling ratcatchers that were oversized rats. That ate him.
- How he got out of trouble when caught smuggling letters for mages which involved selling them blue cloth dye
- Oh and that he helped with a shipment of nugs that had crystal growths on them
- He has eaten a whole ghast
- Has eaten sawdust
- Watched a wyvern eat a man, then dared Asher to drink wyvern blood
- Claims there is rat royalty in Kirkwall
- Has seen someone club somebody with their own arm after it came off and the ensuing mess
- Again with the statue worship. And the rat royalty.
- What do you mean those weren't bones in his soup?
- Seriously why do you not believe him about the rat royalty?
- Why yes he has devoured many of his siblings
- Yes he's the official Inquisition wine inspector
- Of course the Avvar mountains have werebears
- Asher gave Melisende a necklace of ears every time she heard Andraste's mabari because she hates the song so much
- Delivered men in casks to Wycome as a delicacy to a white glove society
- A nuggalope farted and killed a stable boy, the dracolisks promptly ate his liver
- Knows someone who lost half their arse after sitting on a trap. (And Templars absolutely wear skirts.)
- Doglords have a rota for naming their dogs, got a committee for that and everything. And a gutter gave birth to Yngvi and his siblings that he and Gunnar ate for survival. When you're a young dwarf you need to stay in the dark for many years so you stay good and rooted to the ground before people can say 'yes this one is ready, let him up into the world'.
- Dalish elves sniff halla arse, news at eleven
- Old dwarves in Orzammar go off the rails by way of riding brontos into lava. And his bosom will fill in if he believes in the Maker and Andraste. Evenly. If it's uneven he'll be lopsided.
- Helped a merchant get a stall so that's why he's entitled to mates rates. Oh and he has seven fathers and five mothers in that moment. And the aspersions continue regarding the dracolisks and nuggalopes.
- That one time Asher had a de Launcet under each arm.
- Speak not of his love affair with Rothbor, he shan't besmirch his reputation
- A hysterical Christine is very much like Yngvi's aunt Bertha after six gins
- Everyone has that uncle that talks about how in his day they rode castless through the streets like brontos right?
- Also he's going to build a totally tasteful memorial with all those bones so hands off stop burning everything what's wrong with all you Andrastians???
- Dowagers get haunted after a certain age, symptoms include cobwebs on the nipples.
- Still working the rat angle.
- It'd be quicker to list the Chantries the Boneflayers haven't been banned from. Even Yngvi doesn't know how to class the thing with the wine...
- Part of a skull bit him one time. Half a jaw to be precise.
- Avvar dwarves confirmed
- Yeah he's still pushing the rats it's like he's got an agenda or he really does know something???
- The sky swallowed seven of his cousins Melys be sensitive
- Part-dwarf, part-floor cleaning slater
- The discipline of chairs and stepladders, it happens all the time. Trust him.
- The truth comes out: nugs are dwarf potatoes
- Beloved by six dowagers he is!!!
- True Dwarf Facts: baby naming
- Bears: the pro-wrestlers of Thedas
- Don't believe any Starkhavener, he didn't fiddle any hoops
- On how dwarven mining works
- Doglords fill in forms to name their dogs and it has to be on the proper list
- Deshyrs rode Casteless through the streets once
- Dwarves also burst out of lava. Look there are a lot of ways to birth a dwarf shut up
- Doglords would marry their dogs. Also schools in Ferelden are just for the dogs.
- Litigous ancient elf skeletons gossip
- Dwarves float like cork
- Andraste's Mabari is assault with a deadly weapon
- But why aren't we using brontos to win this war?
- Dwarves knocked up that second moon in the sky free of charge. You're all welcome
- Dwarves can't get gangrene everyone knows that
- A very hungry bear
Oh and he drank Nevarran corpse perfume.
updated 23/02/2020